Meat Cooking Temperatures 

Magnet Sample - Back

Magnet Sample - Side

Kitchen Conversions 

SNACCIDENT [snac-ci-dent] Noun; Eating an entire bag of chips by mistake

Silence is golden, unless you have kids.  Then silence is suspicious.

Some things are better left unsaid, which I generally realize after I've said them.

I don't need an inspirational quote. I NEED COFFEE.

My stomach is flat, the L is just silent.

I'm on a 30-day diet. So far I've lost 15 days!

I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?!

Look what I made

Look what I made

SHOWER [shou-er] Noun; 2% getting clean, 8% singing, 90% winning fake arguments.

POOR [ poor] Adjective; When you have too much month at the end of your money.

I'm so lucky people can't hear what I'm thinking.

Remember when I asked your opinion? Yeah, me neither.

Hang on. Let me overthink this!

I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? 

I run a tight SHIPWRECK!

The biggest lie I tell myself:  "I don't need to write that down.  I'll remember it".

SARCASM [sahr-kaz-uhm] Noun; The ability to insult idiots without them realizing.

WHATEVER [wuht-ev-er] Pronoun; What you say when you lose an argument but don't want to admit it.

PETS [pets] Noun; The only member of your family you actually like.

I'm stuck between I need to save money and you only live once!

Me: I can't see you anymore.. I am not going to let you hurt me like this again.

Trainer:  It was one situp.  You did one situp. 

I thought my dryer was shrinking all my clothing.  Turns out it was the refrigerator instead. 

I've reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

I used to just crastinate but I got so good I went pro.  

WE ACCEPT ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS especially your husband's

I try to be a nice person, but sometimes my mouth doesn't cooperate.

A good friend is like a good bra - hard to find - makes you look good - always close to your heart - there to support you

I've reached that age where my brain went from 'you probably shouldn't say that' to 'what the hell, let's see what happens'!

Clean / Dirty

Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

Dog licked 'em clean / Cleaned by Dishwasher